Nightmarish December

I should be happy because it's December but I think this is the worse December I've ever had. The nightmare began from the very beginning of the month. We received news to move out by the end of the month. They barely gave us one month to move out. Is it really that easy?

No. It's not. It's the exam month. I could hardly concentrate on the papers. Every time I tried to study, my mind would wander on thoughts related to the move. "Will we make it in time?" "Will the new place in better condition than our current house?" " Will it be cheaper?" " How are we going to divide the rent?" "When can I settle this?" "When can I go home?".....There's so much more.

I don't know how I did in the exam. Problems that kept cropping up keeps me busy. I'm beginning to hate this month.

Except from the problems above, we've endured some other challenges. Challenges that almost drive us crazy. We've been discussing night after night trying to solve all those problems. We've been through a tedious month. We've tried very hard in finding a place to stay, we found a house but have to gave it up due to some personal problems, we were almost cheated by a ridiculous house owner (we believed so much that we've found the perfect place to stay only to be disappointed once again), we tried hard to picked ourselves up and continue our search for houses, we met snatch thief in the meantime, we tried to came out with all kinds of alternatives just to rent a house but failed...it goes on and on...

One of the hardest challenges is none other than the one testing our friendship. I know most of us made a mistake this time. I know you'll be angry. I understand. But we still have to make it clear with you. It's hard. It's really hard. Maybe after this, there'll always be a gap between us. I'm not sure. I don't blame you. No one wants this conflict to happen. I know you're hurt because we gave you hope only to learn that we broke that hope the next day. We're truly truly sorry. I feel very bad. But I hope you understand. It's a very sensitive issue after all. It's hard to tell you. Sorry for making you so upset.

It's hard since all of us have different opinions. It's already hard to find a place to stay in such a short time. It's harder when we have different opinions. I thank you for the e-mail you sent me. It shows that you want us to understand why you're angry. I know it before I read that email. Sigh. Maybe you find it hard to tell me face to face.

I hope you'll understand why we did this. Yes. We're still at fault. We made a mistake. I hope you understand and I hope after this incident we can still go on getting along as well as usual. You won't be reading my blog. Just want to spill it on to something. That's all I can say now.

I want to go home as soon as possible. I want to leave this place for the moment. I don't want more sleepless night! I want my holiday, please!!